Tag Archive | inspiration

More (A Poem/Short Story)

human-1215160_640

She kept the bouquets
Given in bloom
Before reverence was a ghost
Rancid lilies
On the bedside table
Patronizing her
With their shelf-life devotion

“Never again will I love,” she proclaimed
“Never again will I give,” she explained
“Never again will I chase the chaser”
“Stroke the ego”
“Be led by reins made from frays of detachment”

She told herself
Life was brilliant, easier
When she kept her heart guarded
Though at the point of sale
She didn’t buy
What she was pushing

Yet she existed without living
Thought without reasoning
Reached for tomorrow
Inside ancient history
Plagued by its confines
As the floor met the ceiling
And the walls closed in

She took to sand and sea
Cloud gazing in the dunes
Spongy beds beneath her spine
Bursts of freckles just a sun-kiss away
As she finally came to

Her fractured fairytale
Still pierced her mind
But its jabs were brief
And its frequency was fading

Oh, but she was slow
To usher in…him
A knight without the armor 
Bold and uninvited
Extracting her from that comfy corner
Of complacency

She took his attention
With a side of suspicion
Despite emotions upending
Without permission
Blending then curving
In all directions

Ah, but it felt too good

Too rare
Too risky
Too scary
Too much
Too fast
Too soon

She charted an escape
A path to resistance
Right there for the taking

She clung to it
Bathed in it
Slept in it
Woke to it
Gorged herself on it
And wore it
Like a second skin

But damn
If he wasn’t persistent
And beautiful
And so easy to adore

But surely
Her surrender
To that exquisite ache
Adhering to her frantic pulse
Was merely a prelude
To a greater pain to come?

No
Yes

Predictions were tangled
And often convoluted
So she took a leap of fate
For this joy was worth
Every maybe

When he showed her the stars
She was infinite
When he opened his arms
She fell home
When he pulled her close
Her body remembered
What she told it to forget
Its artful formation
Both courageous and kind

When he held out his heart
She slipped it on for size
Its perfect fit
Impossible to ignore

And when she let out her crazy
He took out his scars
And when she let down her hair
He caught all her fears
And when he kept coming back
She stopped asking why
And when he loved her
She loved him more

 

Copyright © S. A. Healey

 

Image source: pixabay.com

 

 

A New Year For Keeping Promises

promises

We’ve all got history.

Some we honor with nostalgic fondness. Some we barely remember. Some we only fess up to after liberal helpings of liquid encouragement plunge us into bouts of facepalm retrospect, leaving us with that one gnawing question…

What the eff was I thinking?

And then, of course, some history…

We wish like hell we could forget.

But each experience teaches us something fundamentally important, no matter how far or well we’ve traveled within the circle of life.

Even as I nudge my way through the upper echelon of middle age, life continues to teach me, sometimes in jarring ways, that it is full of change. And, often…

Of endings.

Yet, I also take comfort in having learned long ago that some things are forever, like the certainty that I will always love my family, my children, and my soulmate.

And that I will always hold precious…

My dreams.

After all, passions provide purpose, and they are omnipresent…

In all of us.

Every January, we tend to embark on quests for self-betterment, reuniting our dreams with the due diligence that abandoned them sometime around mid-February the previous year.

We ache to be reborn. We pitch Stuart Smalley-esque affirmations to our expectant reflections. We make promises. And then, gradually…

We break them.

Why?

Because the vows we make to ourselves are the hardest to keep.

I can personally vouch for this.

Anyone who has followed this blog for any length of time could probably guess that my dreams heavily revolve around writing, books, writing, romance, writing, and…

Did I mention writing?

So call me Captain Obvious, but I love to write! LOVE. IT. Always have, always will.

However, when I bid adieu to 2016 with champagne flute in-hand, I couldn’t help but be reminded of the writerly promises I’d made to myself that went unfulfilled—namely, the stories in my head that were supposed to end up in print, but didn’t.

Sure, I could blame everything from chronic PMS to those cat-versus-cucumber YouTube compilations that are oh-so-addictive, but the truth?

I allowed my aspirations to fall out of focus.

If you’re a word nerd like me, you know that life as a writer can be incredibly isolating. Keeping the dream alive requires persistence and sacrifice, which can pose a challenge for those of us who suffer the guilt of said sacrifice, conditioning us to then give precedence to everything else.

We assign our dreams “hobby” or “back burner” status, a confusing contradiction since we don’t actually think of them in these terms.

But sometimes, that’s all it takes to bring our active pursuits to a grinding halt. We may even try convincing ourselves that none of it really matters, especially when there are so many other things that require our time and attention.

But deep down, we know better.

My love affair with the written word began as an adolescent. I discovered the freedom and catharsis of gliding ink across paper, an exercise inspired by one of my idols at the time, author Judy Blume.

Back then, I was struggling to find myself and where I might fit in the world—a literal work in progress. But despite not yet knowing who or where I wanted to be, as long as I had words, I was moving.

And that was good enough for me.

Whenever I reminisce on that time, I not only fall in love with writing all over again, but I realize…

I am still a work in progress.

So this year, whether I finish writing one book, six, or even zilch, the part of me that thrives on stringing words and chasing stories will always be there, even when life throws curveballs that try to tell me otherwise.

I don’t know about you, but I feel a responsibility to keep those promises I left hanging in 2016.

So, with that, I raise my pen…

And feel a novel coming on. 😉

 

Copyright © S. A. Healey

 

Image source: pexels.com – Ed Gregory, photographer

 

Why?

Writing Tools

To dig deep.
To win and to lose.
To search for outlets.
To bleed raw.
To dance with my demons.
To face the trauma.
To explore what it means to experience life.
To agonize.
To intellectualize.
To explode into the fragments I hide.
To salt my wounds.
To taste the tears.
To fade my scars.
To feel everything as powerfully as I can.
To believe in my worth.
To forgive myself for weakness and misplaced trust.
To release the guilt that was never mine to carry.
To live with passion and unwavering faith.
To express with honesty, always…no matter how joyous or sad or ridiculous or maddening.
To recognize that the truth is often convoluted.
To demand more ingenuity.
To begin each day knowing there’s a chance to make it better.
To embrace all the moments, big and small.
To understand that no story is ever completely told.
To reunite with my first love every time I hold a pen.
 
This is why…I write.

Me1

S A Healey, a happily married mother of two, is and will forever remain, a lover of words and a sucker for romance. You can find out more about her novels and other works at http://www.sahealey.com

See. Hear. Feel.

photo2

I see

I hear

I feel

Am I the only one who can?

Why do you rush when there’s nothing but time?

Why don’t you dance when the music comes on?

Is it because people are watching?

Show them how amazing you are!

Why wear beige and seep into walls?

Why not wear red — be a standout instead?

Be proud of who you are!

Don’t just walk

Look around

Catch the brilliance in the ground

Do you know what I mean?

Silver flecks in the pavement shine like diamonds when the sun hits them just right

There is so much beauty in ordinary things

Do you see it?

I’d rather look ahead than down at my phone

Look at me

What do you see?

Aren’t I spectacular?

Look at you

You’re terrific too

Don’t you see it?

Do you hear the ocean when it speaks to you?

It’s talking in waves

Do you listen?

“Shhhh,” it whispers

I know what it means

Do you?

I’ll tell you a secret

We make too much noise

We love to hear ourselves talk

Don’t we?

Our voices are shrill

We want to be heard

But do we hear?

We should listen more

The ocean is smart

Why else would it be so big?

When I swim I am drenched with hugs

That’s because the Earth is special and so is God

And He loves me

God made the ocean and that’s why it holds me

It holds you too

But do you feel it?

Do you taste the salty kisses?

That’s how the ocean says hello

Do you say good morning to your family?

Or do you grunt instead?

Do you tell them you love them?

If you don’t, you should

People are grumpy a lot it seems

Maybe it’s because they’re tired all the time

People need to rest more

And take vacations

I love Disney World

You can get your picture taken with all the princesses

I like to pretend I’m a princess

Elsa from Frozen is my favorite

When I feel sad I say to myself, “I am a princess”

Or I pretend I’m Bethany Hamilton, my hero

And that makes everything better

When you feel sad, you should try it

And music

Never forget the music

Listen to your favorite song on repeat until you drive your parents crazy

And dance until your feet hurt

But the most important thing…

Smile

photo1

October is Down Syndrome Awareness Month. This poem was inspired by and written with the assistance of my daughter, Elizabeth, who happens to have an extra chromosome. Her family and friends celebrate her beautiful accomplishments and zest for life every single day.